Finding Your Identity Outside of "Mom"
From the keys of Sunni...
"Hi! I'm Ayden's mom!
Why did I just introduce myself that way?
This is what I was thinking the minute I first started realizing that I was losing my identity in motherhood. Listen, don’t get me wrong, I’m a Mama Bear if there ever was one. They coined the phrase after me. I’ll be at every game and play and school function that they have, beaming so happily and proud at their amazing little selves. BUT… I have a name outside of mom.
Let me explain what started happening. My life started revolving around motherhood in such a way that I thought it was selfish to think about doing, having, or BEING anything outside of a mom. I joined the play groups, mom groups, forum groups, preschool groups, ALL the groups. My hours were long, exhausting, and mentally draining. And you know, it didn’t get easier as they aged: school, projects, friends, sports. I was chauffeur mom, soccer mom, room mom…I can’t tell you exactly how much of my day was spent being Sunni, but I know that internally it felt like 0%.
My husband asked me after a particularly trying day, what I felt like my purpose was. Part of me, the exhausted part, felt sort of like slapping him for asking something so ridiculous. I mean, the house was clean, the laundry was done, and I had successfully kept all of his offspring alive that day. I looked at him with enough emotional force to knock him into next week and calmly answered through gritted teeth, “Umm, isn’t it evident? I’m a mom.”
What my other half was trying to get across to me was that it’s ok to be a mom AND….
It’s so common to get lost in the everyday so much that we lose who we are and what we want. Speaking of, it’s okay to dream. In fact, I encourage it! You can still be a rockstar mother and set goals that are specific to you outside of your role at home. What is it that you really want, if you knew that you couldn’t fail? What really excites you? What would your ideal day look like?
Coaching allows you to open yourself up to possibilities that you may have never thought possible because you stopped thinking about you. Maybe you’re like me, and your threw yourself into your kids and quit dreaming because it felt wrong or selfish. Listen, you’re not alone and it’s not the end of your story because let’s be honest, when’s the last time that someone asked what YOU wanted for a change?
What's a Life Coach?
From the keys of Sunni...
You're a life coach? That's so cool!
Umm… what’s a life coach exactly?
Don’t feel bad if you’ve ever wondered what a Life Coach is or does. This is truly the most common question that I get asked. If we’re being completely honest here, it wasn’t until I started my training that I realized exactly what it was myself.
So, let’s get the technicalities out of the way and see the textbook definition:
Life Coaching is the art and practice of enabling individuals and groups to move from where they are to where they want to be.
Life Coaching IS partnering with your client. Listen, we’re working together. This isn’t my story, it’s yours. I’m not going to coach you based on how successful something has been for me, and then try to manipulate and force you to try it. My goal is to uncover what works best for you, and then to set a timeline of goals and action steps that will ultimately lead to a lasting change.
Life Coaching IS dealing with your present. A Life Coach deals with your present to fix your future. Anything that you’re dealing with now, at this moment, that you want to ultimately address so that your future looks different, is most definitely coaching. If you’re experiencing issues in your life right now due to deep emotional scars of your past, that’s counseling. I’m a huge advocate for counseling, I’ve been to counseling and it was absolutely necessary for me to get to where I am today. But I never would’ve been able to come to the place I am in coaching, if I had not broken those past chains first.
Life Coaching is about setting goals and actions. You haven’t just hired me to be one of your girlfriends that offers you a listening ear and then sends you on your way. This partnership is absolutely about me asking those discovery questions and actively listening to your answers, but that’s so that I, and so that you, can get a complete awareness about where you are and where you want to be. Then, together, we’re going to set the foundation and make a plan that starts you down the road of success. You can talk about what you want or how you wish things would be all day long, but until you put the action behind your words, all they’ll ever really be are wishes.
In essence, Life Coaching is for the person who’s ready for a change, but just not sure how to bring it about. You don’t have to wait until you have this “major” problem come up to hire a coach. I can help you with something as creatively inspiring as filling up a vision board! There are literally countless avenues we can take with our coaching partnership, and I’m ready to get started. There’s just one thing missing to get you to where you want to be…you!