Identity

This is what I was thinking the minute I first started realizing that I was losing my identity in motherhood. Listen, don’t get me wrong, I’m a Mama Bear if there ever was one. They coined the phrase after me. I’ll be at every game and play and school function that they have, beaming so happily and proud at their amazing little selves. BUT… I have a name outside of mom. 

Let me explain what started happening. My life started revolving around motherhood in such a way that I thought it was selfish to think about doing, having, or BEING anything outside of a mom. I joined the play groups, mom groups, forum groups, preschool groups, ALL the groups. My hours were long, exhausting, and mentally draining. And you know, it didn’t get easier as they aged: school, projects, friends, sports. I was chauffeur mom, soccer mom, room mom…I can’t tell you exactly how much of my day was spent being Sunni, but I know that internally it felt like 0%. 

My husband asked me after a particularly trying day, what I felt like my purpose was. Part of me, the exhausted part, felt sort of like slapping him for asking something so ridiculous. I mean, the house was clean, the laundry was done, and I had successfully kept all of his offspring alive that day. I looked at him with enough emotional force to knock him into next week and calmly answered through gritted teeth, “Umm, isn’t it evident? I’m a mom.” 

What my other half was trying to get across to me was that it’s ok to be a mom AND….

It’s so common to get lost in the everyday so much that we lose who we are and what we want. Speaking of, it’s okay to dream. In fact, I encourage it! You can still be a rockstar mother and set goals that are specific to you outside of your role at home. What is it that you really want, if you knew that you couldn’t fail? What really excites you? What would your ideal day look like?

Coaching allows you to open yourself up to possibilities that you may have never thought possible because you stopped thinking about you. Maybe you’re like me, and your threw yourself into your kids and quit dreaming because it felt wrong or selfish. Listen, you’re not alone and it’s not the end of your story because let’s be honest, when’s the last time that someone asked what YOU wanted for a change?